Becoming a mother is one of the most transformative experiences in a woman's life. Amidst the joy and love that babies bring, it's not uncommon for mums, (especially those of us who have babies a little later in life), to feel like they've lost a part of themselves. The constant demand for attention and care when you are so used to your routine, your career and your free time, can sometimes lead to feelings of being lost in their new role, yearning for a sense of self beyond motherhood. If this resonates with you, here are five empowering tips to help you rediscover and reclaim your identity.
1. Embrace Your New Journey
OK, please don't fantasise about punching me in the face for saying this, but first and foremost, acknowledge that you are on a new journey, one that is both challenging and rewarding. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, in fact you should expect to feel overwhelmed. This is a brand new role (even if your babies are not babies anymore), and you have to let go of your old life because quite frankly, you are not the woman you were before you had children. Instead of seeing this as losing yourself, view it as evolving into a new version of you. The powerful woman inside you hasn’t disappeared; she is growing, learning, and adapting to her new role. She is becoming more bad ass every.minute.of.every.day!! Every day, remind yourself 'I am navigating this new path with strength and grace'. Honestly, your family could not function without you at the helm, so try and embrace the chaos, because one day soon, it will be a thing of the past (and if it helps you, repeat 'this too shall pass' when you are feeling stressed out, it's a good reminder that everything is temporary).
2. Catch and Release Negative Thoughts
You are not a victim, so don't let a victim mentality overtake your powerful mind. Our thoughts wield incredible power over our beliefs and, in turn, our lives. The emergence of a victim mentality can take a toll on your sense of self-worth and identity. The key is to become mindful of your thoughts. When you notice negative self-talk creeping in, consciously catch it. Here is where you can apply a bit of humour; laugh at these thoughts and affirm to yourself, 'That is not me. I am a strong and capable woman who is finding her feet along this new journey.' This practice doesn't just negate negativity; it empowers you to redefine your narrative. And remember, you are the product of your thoughts, because they become your beliefs. DO NOT allow your negative thoughts to become your beliefs. Recognise them as passing thoughts, allow yourself to feel the emotion that comes up for you (don't suppress the emotion), remind yourself that the thoughts are not real and remind yourself of who you really are.
3. Raise Your Vibrational Frequency
We are beings of energy, vibrating at varying frequencies. Our thoughts, actions, and even the foods we consume influence our vibrational state. Negative patterns can lower our frequency, while things like positive affirmations, high vibrational foods, and a connection with nature can elevate it. Start by integrating positive affirmations into your daily routine, opting for foods that nourish your body and soul, and spending time in nature to reconnect with the earth's grounding energy. And once again, get those negative thoughts out of your head.
4. Detox Your Environment
Your surrounding environment significantly impacts your vibrational frequency. Toxic chemicals, found in many household products, can contribute to a negative energy space. Taking steps to detox your home is not only beneficial for your physical health but also for your mental and emotional well-being and can be the difference between scattered, crazy kids and a peaceful home. If you're unsure where to start, consider utilising resources designed to guide you through identifying and eliminating harmful products from your home, like the guide I've created to help you detoxify your living space.
5. Make Time for Self-Discovery
Dedicating time to yourself may seem impossible amidst the chaos of motherhood, but it's crucial for self-discovery. Whether it's pursuing a long-forgotten hobby, reading, meditation, or simply taking a peaceful walk alone, find what fuels your soul and make it a priority. This time is not selfish; it's essential. It serves as a reminder of who you are beyond your role as a mum, rekindling the passions and interests that make you uniquely you. Take it from me, I am so non-negotiable on my regular line dancing classes, they make me so happy and bring me so much joy. I am a better mum & woman because I take this time for myself.
You Are Not Alone
By embracing these tips, you can begin to navigate your way back to your core, reestablishing your identity, and elevating your mindset and vibrational frequency. Motherhood is an extension of who you are, not the entirety of your being. Allow yourself to grow, explore, and rediscover the incredible woman you are.
You are frickin amazing, honestly, you are.
Lotsa love x
Karissa
